What if the answer isn't 'more'?

It feels good to be wanted, doesn’t it? (That’s your brain’s reward system at work, btw.)

But, if you’ve ever found yourself overwhelmed, drained, or simply stretched too thin, you already know that ‘yes’ has a price tag—one we often don’t recognize until we hit a wall.

Here’s a difficult truth for high-performers: there will always be more demands on your time, attention, and energy than you have capacity for. If you tend to be responsible, conscientious, or naturally attuned to the needs of others, it can be even worse. 

So you might be wondering: what do you do about it? 

Make a list. The Stop Doing List.

Why a Stop Doing List Matters

So much productivity advice focuses on adding, right? 

New habits. 

Better systems. 

More techniques. 

But, when you’re already operating near capacity, adding more has higher odds of making things worse rather than better. 

The Stop Doing List flips that around. Building and following one frees up not only time, but attention, focus, and energy. Essentially, it’s a ‘quality, not quantity’ play. And, it’s simple. 

That said, it may not be as easy to implement as you might expect. Saying no, stepping back, and dropping old obligations can stir up some pretty uncomfortable feelings—guilt, anxiety, fear of disappointing others. For a lot of us, those are the things that keep us stuck in overcommitment. But, it’s a skill, and like any skill, it can be improved with practice. 

Building Your List

If you want to experiment with this, here’s one way you could approach it:

Step 1: Take inventory.
Over a few days, make notes about how you’re spending your time and energy. (I once tracked literally every minute of my day at work. Thankfully, you don’t need nearly that level of detail here. You can just list the main activities at the end of each day, or jot them down as you go.)

Step 2: Review and reflect.
Look through your list. For each activity, ask yourself:

• What value did I actually get from this?
• How does this align with my values, priorities, and goals?
• Was this truly necessary, or something I did out of habit, guilt, or obligation?
• What do I think would happen if I stopped doing this?
• If there are potential downsides, how could I address or mitigate them?

Step 3: Create your list.
Once you’ve done this review, identify activities you want to release and write ‘em down. Keep the list somewhere accessible and revisit it regularly. Keeping it in your awareness goes a long way towards helping you follow through.

What’s In It For You?

One client I worked with realized she was routinely checking work email late at night. It wasn’t  because anyone expected her to, she just felt anxious if she didn’t. After we worked on this, ‘checking email in the evening’ ended up on her list. 

What happened? 

Well, her stress level decreased, her sleep improved, and her mood lifted. 

Her work? 

It didn’t suffer at all. 

As you build this practice, you’ll start to notice three key benefits:

1. Time — Hours previously lost to unnecessary obligations become available again.
2. Focus — With fewer demands pulling at you, it becomes easier to focus on what matters most.
3. Energy — You reclaim the capacity to engage more fully with the people, work, and experiences that are truly meaningful to you.

This isn’t a one-time event, btw. Think of it as an ongoing practice — a way of staying grounded in what’s most important, and reserving your energy for the parts of your life that truly matter.

If this resonates with you and you’re struggling to actually put it into practice, well, this is exactly the kind of work I help my clients with. If you’re curious what that might look like, you’re welcome to reach out or set up a free consultation.