I've spent much of my life feeling like I was built for a different world — too sensitive for the harsh edges, too thoughtful for the quick fixes, often "too much" in general … yet still somehow still not enough. I've also spent way too much time trying to look like or be someone other than who I was because it's what I thought I needed to do to be successful or to fit in.
(News flash: it didn't work.)
Sound familiar?
Well, across more than 20 years and 15,000 hours spent in coaching and therapy conversations with hundreds of clients, one thing has become clear:
The very traits that make you feel different — the overthinking, the sensitivity, the chameleon-like adaptation — aren’t the problem. They’re where your power lies. But, like any powerful tool, learning how to use them properly is critical, and that's where most of us never got the help and support we should have.
My mission? Fill in that gap.
The Winding Path
My journey here wasn't linear. I started in IT, focused on a practical, high-demand career where I could make a good living. (So responsible, right?) One minor problem: it felt meaningless. After several years, that not-really-so-minor problem became unbearable, leading to a sense of hopelessness ... and ultimately depression (0/10, do not recommend).
My own therapy, combined with a week of vacation spent at a Myers-Briggs certification training in 2000, sparked my journey of transformation which involved obtaining a Master's degree and a psychotherapy license, hundreds of hours of continuing education, thousands of hours of work with therapy clients, and eventually, the realization that one of them was right when she said I should market myself as "the least therapist-like therapist ever."
But, if I'm not a therapist, what am I?
Well, most of my work these days could accurately be described as coaching, though I'm not really a fan of labels. I guess you could say I'm a guide or helper for fellow travelers who've lost themselves in the endless adaptation to what the world expects.
What I've Learned
Through my own journey and thousands of conversations with people like us, here are some things I've come to understand:
You're picking up on things others miss.
The exhaustion you feel isn't just from working so hard.
It's also from wearing masks for too long.
Asking for help doesn't mean you've failed.
It means you want something better and refuse to stay lost.
Your intensity isn't the problem.
It's power and potential that can make others uncomfortable.
Normal was never going to fit you.
That's a good thing, once you learn to trust and embrace it.
The challenge isn't to become someone else. It's to remember who you were before the world told you who to be – and become who you’re truly capable of being.
— AL
Beyond the Credentials
Yes, I'm a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (#MFC43212) in California. Yes, I have the degrees and certifications and tools and all that. What matters more, I think, is this: I've been where you are. I've felt the weight of being both too much and yet not enough. I've lost myself in the adaptation and found my way back.
These days, you'll find me in shorts whenever possible, fizzy drink in hand and music in the background, helping my clients turn their uniqueness into their power.
What's Next?
If you're tired of adapting, exhausted from performing, and ready to find your way back to yourself, let's talk. No pressure, no performance — just a conversation between two humans to see if it makes sense to work together.
Or, if you'd like to do some exploring on your own before reaching out, subscribe below to get your copy of "The 3 Patterns That Keep Smart, Sensitive People Stuck - and How To Start Unwinding Them".