Feel like the world wasn't built for you? (Yeah, me too.)
There's still a place where you belong, and I can help you find it.
Hi, I'm Steve.
I'm a licensed therapist, but these days my work — and how I do it – would be better described as coaching.
Ultimately, though, those are just labels. I'm not a fan of labels.
So, here's the bottom line: I help people figure out who they actually are and build lives that fit them.
That might mean mastering boundaries, building confidence, launching that business idea, or finally feeling comfortable in your own skin (among other things).
If that sounds like what you're looking for help with, keep reading.
Who I help
My clients don’t fit into the boxes that typically get used to categorize people, but there are a number of things they have in common. If any of these feel familiar, you’re probably in the right place.
They’re intelligent and introspective.
Big-picture thinkers who pick up on patterns others don't notice. It’s a gift, but it can also trap them in cycles of high expectations, overthinking, and harsh self-criticism. The upside? High performance. The price tag? Burnout.
They’re caring, intuitive and perceptive.
They notice subtleties in tone, energy, and dynamics that others miss entirely. It’s powerful … but can also be exhausting and overwhelming, leaving them wondering if they're "too sensitive". (They're not, but they are living in a world that continues to have an, uh, unhealthy relationship with feelings.)
They're adaptable ... at their own expense.
They can function (for a while) in almost any environment and are good at many things. The downside (yep, there’s one here, too) is that they often lose connection with themselves — like a chameleon that no longer knows its true color.
They’re curious and creative.
They want to learn about how the world works and feel energized by exploring what is and what could be. Their minds spark big, creative ideas ... but those sparks inevitably get dimmed by self-doubt and fear of judgement.
They know that ‘normal’ doesn’t fit.
At times, being different is a source of pride … but all too often, it's a source of pain because of the gap between who they are and what the world expects. That gap can feel insurmountable, leaving them lost and lonely.
Last, but not least: They struggle with conflict and relationships.
It's not from a lack of effort – if anything, they try too hard. They give, adapt, and accommodate, hoping for connection and partnership. But, all too often, they just end up drained, frustrated, and resentful when the reciprocation they long for never comes.
A common objection
If you're like a lot of my clients, you've probably needed to figure out a lot on your own.
And that self-sufficiency has probably gotten you pretty far.
But now? It might be the very thing keeping you stuck.
Asking for help isn't weakness. (I used to think so, too.)
It's the next step forward.
How I help
There’s no fixed formula here. Working with me is more like putting together a puzzle — we start with the frame, but how it comes together depends on you, your energy, and what you need.
We'll have regular phone calls that are typically about an hour, and there's an option for asynchronous support between calls. I don’t 'assign homework', but I'm happy to offer ideas or prompts if you want them.
The real change happens between our sessions when you're actively working to implement what we talk about in your day to day life.
What’s the work like in practice?
I want all my clients to experience our calls as a space where they get to be both who they truly are and where they actually are. They spend too much of their lives adapting or putting on a front, and this process works best when we're allowed to just be.
— AL
What happens within that space? Well, it’s collaborative. You talk about what’s up for you, where you want to go, what’s in the way, and what you’ve been trying to do to make it happen. My role is to be a supportive guide helping you navigate successfully. I suppose you could say that I’m trying to be similar to that older family figure you knew you could talk to about anything. You know, the one who would give you the right mix of support, ideas, and the occasional kick in the butt when you needed it? (Do these family figures actually exist? I assume so, since I hear stories about them, but I didn’t have one of those growing up ... and I’m guessing you may not have, either. Regardless, that's what I'm going for.)
I know that one size doesn't fit all. So, there's a few different ways we can work together, ranging from a one-off Compass Call to more intensive, ongoing support. What's right for you? Good question, and one we can explore on a free consultation call if you're curious to learn more.
-DT
FAQ
Is this coaching? Therapy? Something else?
While I am a licensed therapist, coaching would be the appropriate label to describe most of the work I do these days. It's collaborative, future-focused, and action-oriented. If you think you need therapy, and you're located in California, we can discuss going that route as well.
How long do you usually work with clients for?
For some clients that might just be a few months while they tackle a specific challenge. For others it's longer-term, because they find value in having a trusted advisor to help them navigate through life.
How do I know if we're a fit?
That's what the consultation call is for. Between talking about what you're looking for help with, exploring how I'd work with you on that and addressing questions you have, we'll probably get a pretty good sense of whether we'd work well together.
What kinds of things do people bring to you?
Whatever's keeping them between where they are and where they want to be. Could be exploring how to be more focused, how to be more confident in setting boundaries, dealing with relationship challenges, or figuring out 'what you want to be when you grow up.' Some days people bring concrete, specific problems they're trying to solve. Other times, it's more messy and amorphous. Either one is ok!
A little more about me
In addition to my coaching work, I’m a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (Lic #MFC43212) in California. My own struggles with feeling like I was an outsider who was 'too sensitive' and 'too nice' led me to this work, and over the last 20+ years, I’ve had the privilege to support hundreds of people on their journeys of growth. When I’m not working, you can usually find me reading, playing games with my family, making music, or eating pizza & drinking something fizzy.
— NS
What's next?
If this resonates and you're curious about what working together might look like, the next step is simple: schedule a free consultation. It's a 45 minute conversation where we'll connect, explore where you're stuck, what you're looking for help with, and get a feel for whether there might be a fit here. If it makes sense at that point, we can also talk through next steps, but there's no expectation or obligation.
Either way, you'll leave with more clarity and likely a few useful ideas or resources to take with you.
You can also subscribe to my email newsletter at the bottom of the page. You’ll get a short course I created: The 3 Patterns That Keep Smart, Sensitive People Stuck—And How to Start Unwinding Them. It'll help you get some clarity about yourself and what matters to you and give you some tools to get you moving forward.
After that, you’ll also get occasional emails with insights, tools, and resources to support you on your path.
Whether or not we end up working together, I hope you find a path that brings you back to yourself and to a life that feels more empowered, more fulfilling, and more true to you. Keep moving forward.